All I Know is How to Cry

     Sometimes i just can't. I'm incapable of doing anything. I sit on the floor with my school books open and nothing happens. I stare at them as if they were staring back at me. I read the same sentence 20 times. It took me two hours (plus) to write 300 words for a paper. I'm struggling right now to write this. I forget to eat, and when i do i regret it because my body also can't, so it doesn't know what to do with it. People ask me things and i know the answers but the only words that escape my mouth are "i don't know". This past week was extremely unproductive because of those reasons. I literally couldn't.
     I often feel like I'm the only one. That no one relates to this. But i know everyone has their struggles and they're not all the same. I was reminded of a song when my music was on shuffle the other day it is 'Brokenness Aside' by All Sons & Daughters. Two lines stick out in this song, the first: "'Cause all I know is how to cry. Cause I am a sinner. If it's not one thing it's another."; the second, "But You are a Savior. And you take brokenness aside, and make it beautiful". The first line sticks out because it perfectly describes me. All i know is how to cry. The second, because i don't understand it. I don't know why God would take my brokenness, my failures, and ugliness. And you know what? I think that's where the beauty comes in. It's not that he literally makes it into something beautiful, but that he does take it and does want us and that is beautiful. I still don't know why he would do that and choose me, and i don't think i ever will. But it's still beautiful, even if i don't know and i just can't.