Who?
I hate treadmills. Mostly because I hate running, but also because I don't get anywhere while running. Although lately, I've been doing a lot of running. I'm getting really fit! Not really. But I have been running in a way. I do a whole lot of ignoring my problems. I run away from them. The problem is, once I get tired of running and I stop, I'm in the same place I was before. I tired myself out for nothing; I accomplished nothing. The cycle is hard to break. I'm good at running away from my problems, and suppressing my feelings. I tell myself it's just how I cope with things, and it may be how I deal with things, but it doesn't feel like things are dealt with. Things are just laid aside until "I'm forced to deal with what I feel. [When] there's no distraction to mask what is real" (Twenty One Pilots, Car Radio). Yes, I did just quote song lyrics. But that is how I really deal with things, when i'm forced to. I know there is a better way to live, and I would like to live a better way. It seems hopeless though.
When I find myself in despair, God kindly reminds me of Psalm 42:5-6a "Why are you cast down, oh my soul, and why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, my help and my God." When I think I have no hope, when my soul is cast down, when I am anxious inside, I need to remember that though it may be hard to praise God today, one day I will. In fact, I will have all of eternity to learn how to praise "my help and my God."
My life is not about me. I'm not saying that because I want to seem like that holy Christian that gives herself up for Christ, and denies self. In reality, I want my life to be all about me. But also, it really isn't about me. Everything you and I have been through, has not been about us. Everything has and will be about God. That is true because it's all really about Him. He is Alpha and Omega. He must always be first, and last.
When I find myself running away from my problems, I have to remember not to ask the questions of why, what, and how, but who. Who changes everything. Who I think I am, and who I think God is. But more importantly, who am i?, and who is God? The answer to those questions change everything. Find those answers, change everything!
When I find myself in despair, God kindly reminds me of Psalm 42:5-6a "Why are you cast down, oh my soul, and why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, my help and my God." When I think I have no hope, when my soul is cast down, when I am anxious inside, I need to remember that though it may be hard to praise God today, one day I will. In fact, I will have all of eternity to learn how to praise "my help and my God."
My life is not about me. I'm not saying that because I want to seem like that holy Christian that gives herself up for Christ, and denies self. In reality, I want my life to be all about me. But also, it really isn't about me. Everything you and I have been through, has not been about us. Everything has and will be about God. That is true because it's all really about Him. He is Alpha and Omega. He must always be first, and last.
When I find myself running away from my problems, I have to remember not to ask the questions of why, what, and how, but who. Who changes everything. Who I think I am, and who I think God is. But more importantly, who am i?, and who is God? The answer to those questions change everything. Find those answers, change everything!
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